Hello, dear readers!
I wrote an article for my subscribers a week ago and already the world has changed again by the time I get around to publishing it. I’m going to leave the original piece below, but I wanted to take the time to address the fact that in New York City, tonight, there is an 11pm curfew. Helicopters hover overhead to film all the action. Cops have put up barricades on every block. Peaceful protests in the streets have evolved into broken store windows in the Union Square building where I have my office. A few bad apples trying to use the protests for their own gain have turned this city, and 75 others, into a war zone. Make no mistake, we are at war. Black people are fighting for their lives. I stand with #BlackLivesMatter and I know that my black brothers and sisters are hurting. Systemic, institutionalized racism has to end. If you are still wondering how to help, visit this link and donate to a bail fund for arrested protesters.
What I wanted to say was: did you know that decision fatigue is a thing? I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately— it’s just harder to make a decision after a long day at work (I choose cheese and wine for dinner instead of a salad). But, in addition to quarantine fatigue (also a real thing), I think we are having decision fatigue, as a people. Over the past three months, we have had to make hundreds of decisions every second— Do we go to the store? Do we wash our hands before or after unloading the groceries? Do we give the kids a hug? Do we eat well or just say “I give up” and eat potato chips? (Yes, most of my decisions revolve around food.) But we also make decisions at work, for work, at home, in regards to our families, our parents, our pets, our communities, our neighbors. We’re processing all this information every day and trying to make the right choice! It’s exhausting. So I’m here to tell you now: It’s okay. I’ve always told my sister this: we make the best decision we can with the information we have at the time. None of us have a crystal ball (unless you have a crystal ball, in which case, please lend it to me), none of us knows ALL THE SCIENCE at any given time. You've seen it time and again from our government and from our largest institutions— even the CDC is constantly changing its mind, so it’s okay if you do, too. I know— some of the biggest mistakes this year have been due to the lack of a good decision-maker— and that mistake cost us thousands of lives. As a doctor, I have to make those decisions too, so I’m not saying take your decision-making lightly. Just take your decision-making safely.
I wrote this a while back, and a lot of people found it helpful:
It’s Okay To Take A Break (all links in my emails are Friend links, so you don’t need to be a Medium member)
And now, back to our regular programming.
2012- The world was supposed to end on 12/21 according to the Mayan calendar
2014- Boston Marathon bombing
2015- ISIS terrorists killed 130 people in Paris
2016- Trump became president
2017- Hurricanes Harvey, Irma and Maria killed over 200 people
2018- California wildfires
2019- Riots in Hong Kong
2020 says, “Hold my beer.”
Did you already forget that about the Australian bushfires, Kobe Bryant’s death, Brexit, Trump being acquitted, and Prince Harry and Meghan leaving the royal family? Yeah, those all happened before our lives became all about COVID-19.
In 2010, Time Magazine wrote an article about the 2000’s being the ‘decade from Hell’. True, there was 9/11, the subsequent War on Terror, and Steve Jobs died, but 2010-2020 gave its predecessor a run for its money.
I recall thinking, on December 31st of every year, Thank god that year is over.
This sentiment is often echoed by my friends, family, and mere acquaintances on social media.
Is every year the worst year ever? How much worse can each year get?
We compare the death toll (100,000 in the US, by the time of this printing) from COVID-19 to the mortality of the Vietnam War (58,000). But did you know that there were 405,000 lives lost in World War II?
Our grandmothers and grandfathers thought the world was ending during the World Wars, during the Depression, during the Cultural Revolution in China. They lived through times filled with death and famine to bring us to where we are. And they thought every year was the worst year ever, too, so I know it is only in hindsight, it is human nature, to look forward to something better.
Human beings have a tendency to hope, and I think that’s what happens on every New Year’s Eve. We cannot help it, we must, we MUST think: Next year will be better.
While I agree that the first six months of this year have been a shitshow (trust me, I’m the first to say so), and I refuse to say It can only get better (because I know it can get worse), I have to think: This, too, shall pass.
Oh, and if murder hornets weren’t enough for you, this summer, millions of cicadas return from their 17-year hibernation to invade the US.
Here are two poems, one for George Floyd and one for Ahmaud Arbery, in case you missed them:
If there are comments or stories you would like to share with me, please leave a comment. If there is anything you would like for me to share on your behalf, please let me know. The more stories are out there, the more compassion there can be in the world.
Stay well, friends, and see you in July!
Carmen, this part of your piece gave me pause. "Thank god that year is over." It made me tear up, actually, because for as long as I can remember, I have had this feeling too. And it is accompanied by some illogical hope and optimism that, "okay, this is it...fresh start....1/1/20xx...reset and hit 'go' ." However, there are two big problems with this. First of all, IT NEVER WORKS. Secondly, and more importantly, it means we are wasting limited time on this planet either regretting or lamenting the past, or hoping in vain for some kind of vague "promised land" in the coming year. I hate that I feel this way, year on year. I want to change this.